My Precious Carol and I have finally completed 50 years of wedded bliss -- well, MOSTLY bliss. We, as all married human beings, have had a few ups-and-downs in our married life; but the downs were short-lived. Why? I'll tell you why in a minute, but first I want to tell you a story that only our immediate families and Pastor Dan Hughes, know.
Although we have celebrated our wedding anniversary on Aug. 22 for these 50 years, that was actually our second wedding ceremony. Hold on now, there is more to the story.
You see, we eloped earlier in the summer. And although we were legally married, something just didn't seem right. After talking it over, we realized that we deprived ourselves of the blessings of our friends, our community, and our church. So I returned to California and finished the job I had started. Then on Aug. 22, 1966, I went back to New Mexico and we had our church wedding. And yes, Pastor Dan Hughes knew that we were already married; but he was only too happy to assist in fulfilling our emotional and spiritual need.
But guess what? When the next summer rolled around, we forgot the date that we eloped! Our marriage license was buried somewhere in one of our many unpacked boxes, so we did what any mostly sane married couple would do -- we celebrated the date that we remembered, and that was Aug. 22. That was an easy date to remember anyway because it was Carol's parents' and grandparents' wedding anniversary. And, it was my birthday anniversary. (It still is, and I'll be 70 this summer.)
As the years rolled by, we gained new friends, and -- still not remembering the elopement date, and forgetting to look it up in time -- we continued celebrating on Aug. 22.
But this year -- 2016 -- my Precious said, "I finally looked up our original wedding date; let's celebrate it this time."
Guess what? Our original elopement wedding took place on Wednesday, June 29, 1966. The other surprise was: this year -- on our 50th anniversary -- June 29 fell on a Wednesday! We held hands and just laughed. We then went to the Rib Crib restaurant here in Siloam Springs, and the Rib Crib crew -- with Shelly, the manager -- helped us celebrate. Thank you, Rib Crib.
Oh I almost forgot: In 1966, I told Carol we should get married for a trial period. Then if we successfully complete the trial period, we will stay together for life. When she asked how long the trial period would be, I said, "One hundred years!" Carol laughed. But this past June 29, she told me, "I think we have fulfilled the spirit of the trial period; so let's just decide to stay together for life." We held hands and laughed. (We laugh a lot!)
Many folk have asked us throughout the years, "What does it take to stay married AND happy for so long?" We have only one answer, but it comes in two parts.
1) Each of us has put Jesus first in our life, our spouse comes second, our family comes third, the church comes fourth, and our vocations come fifth.
2) We are loyal and devoted to each other. When (not if, but when) difficulties develop, parting ways is NEVER an option. The understood and stated foundation is that we will work things out -- together. True love is not based on emotion or feelings; true love is based on a decision. Even though we have been unhappy with each other at times, we have NEVER stopped loving each other.
So, the combined answer is: put Jesus first in your life, Spouse second; and don't ever allow a crack to develop in your loyalty and devotion toward each other. That is a decision you must make -- not an emotion you feel.
You see, the marriage relationship between one man and one woman comes straight from the Bible, and is based on the relationship between Jesus and His bride -- the Church. Jesus will not forsake His bride when we mess up -- and we do mess up. Jesus remains loyal to us. Husband, you absolutely MUST remain loyal to your bride, no matter what happens. Wife, you absolutely MUST respect your husband in spite of his forgetfulness and goofy ways.
A long-term, happy marriage is based on true love -- loyalty and devotion -- and don't ever forget it. Also, never forget your wedding anniversary.
-- Gene Linzey is a speaker, author, and former pastor. He is president of the Siloam Springs Writers Guild. Send comments and questions to [email protected]. The opinions expressed are those of the author.
Religion on 08/17/2016