Valentine's Day every day

The first time ever I saw her face, I was mesmerized. She lit up the room with her big smile and her effervescent personality. I was smitten, dumbfounded. She was animated, glowing. I was a skinny kid wearing white socks and penny loafers, a white shirt with a pocket protector, and black framed eyeglasses. I was frozen in place like a young calf looking at a new gate, paralyzed like a deer in the headlights, caught like a kid with his hand stuck in a candy jar. And what a sweet treat she has been to me for five decades now! I hoped the moment I saw her that she'd one day be my wife. Two years later, we exchanged wedding vows.

I was a freshman in college studying Bible and Missions at Southeastern University in Florida. Our encounter came the first day of registration. There's no explaining love, but it's real. For anyone who hasn't experienced it, you have my sympathy. Love elevates life to a higher level.

Of course, the kind of love I'm describing is romantic love, the unique attachment that knits two different people together in a satisfying bond that's unlike any other kind of human relationship. Does it always emerge full blown, or can it develop over time? If it existed in the beginning of a marriage, can it be eroded, damaged, or destroyed? Can a couple's romantic love, once lost, ever be rekindled or re-ignited? Yes, to all these questions.

Valentine's Day is a good occasion to take stock of our marriage. How goes our personal marital status? Are we working on it? The passage of years and modern busyness can cause us to take one another for granted, for expressions of affection to wane. Distractions and pressures can affect us. It's good to reflect a bit, to take time to think about things, so we can be more thankful for our spouse and pay attention to their need for our respect, affection, and attention. After all, it is the most important relationship in our earthly life.

Being a student of the Bible, I can't help but notice that God values a man and a woman's relationship. Our creator designed us for one another. He knows what (and who) we need. Marriage was his idea, part of his plan. "It is not good for man to be alone," He said.

In the Bible, there are particular words in the original Greek language for love which are not interchangeable. They reveal distinctions that we may overlook in English. There are three different words for love that mean 1) human affection, 2) sexual attraction, and 3) covenant love. That last love -- agape - is the kind that gives itself sacrificially, to benefit the object of its love. For example, "For God so loved the world that He gave..." This love is costly. It gives at its own expense, to its own hurt. It loves even when that love is not returned. In this case, God gave his Son for our salvation, conditioned upon if we will believe.

The second kind of love is eros, the romance of Cupid's arrow. It can be channeled, kept within bounds, focused. A chapter in the New Testament is solely devoted to love, 1 Corinthians 13. A book in the Old Testament, Song of Solomon, is about erotic love. It addresses love in rapturous tones that celebrates a couple's mutual desire and infatuation in sanctified sexuality.

For students of a happy marriage, I recommend "His Needs, Her Needs," by Willard Harley.

-- Ron Wood is a writer and minister. Email him at [email protected] or visit www.touchedbygrace.org. The opinions expressed are those of the author.

Editorial on 02/13/2019