Ah, March! The month that teases us with warm, sunny days, followed by 18-inch snowfalls. Peach trees will pop out in bloom, only to be nipped by frost. March winds, potato planting, and St. Patrick's Day are all part of March. But March also brings The Madness, the fever from which none are immune. A disease that lasts three weeks, afflicts both men and women, and results in a national wave of employee unproductivity. Yes, it's March Madness! Time to select the teams that will advance through the NCAA basketball tournament!
For those who have no idea to what I am referring, consider yourself lucky. Consider not reading further, lest you become tempted to try your hand at determining which college basketball team will advance through four rounds of games to become the ultimate winner. A total of 68 teams will be selected to participate, but only one can win it all. Confused as to all the fuss over some silly basketball games? Well, it is much more than just rooting for your favorite team.
Years ago, some evil person decided it would be fun to invite people to try and predict which teams would win in the tournament. The tournament is broken up into brackets consisting of four regions with 17 teams in each region. After two "play-in" games between four teams that really had no business even being in the tournament, 64 teams will be left, four in each region. The remaining teams are ranked 1 through 16 based on the season record and strength of schedule. Yes, it is arbitrary to a degree. Someone at work will print off copies of the entire bracket, come by your desk, then ask you to just pick the winner of each game in a friendly little office contest. Perhaps you would like to place a small wager as to how well your bracket performs compared to others? Sure, why not? Sorry, you just infected yourself with The Madness!
I have been infected for years. It goes into remission every April but returns every mid-March. I swear every year to get the vaccine and never experience the agony of watching my picks go down in flames. Hours spent looking at each team's record. Which team is hot? Will injuries be a factor? Which team is likely to be upset? You fill out and submit several dozen brackets based on your research to cover as many possible outcomes likely to occur. Then you find that someone who doesn't even follow basketball had a better bracket than you. She based her picks on team colors or their mascots. You bang your head on your desk.
Even as I write this article, on the day which teams will be selected to compete, I feel the pull of The Madness. It is so easy to play. Just find a website with the bracket presented, click on who you think will win, and send it off. Not sure you picked the right ones? No problem, fill out another bracket. And another. Go on, there is no limit. After all, there are only so many combinations, right? Maybe you can pick the winner of every game! That, my friend, is the Holy Grail of basketball prognostication: The Perfect Bracket.
Sure, let us consider such a thing, this Perfect Bracket. Suddenly, mathematicians are celebrities. Multiple interviews of college professors are shown, expounding on how they figured the probability of submitting a Perfect Bracket. There is some debate as to the best method of calculation. However, the most forgiving odds of a Perfect Bracket are calculated at 1 in 128 billion. A Duke University professor calculates the odds to be more like 1 in 2.4 trillion. Trillion, with a "T." Warren Buffet, the billionaire CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, has offered 1 billion dollars to any employee who submits a Perfect Bracket. Whichever odds are accurate, it makes winning the lottery look easy.
No one really has illusions of predicting a Perfect Bracket. Most of us just want bragging rights as to having the most wins in the office or your online group. Last year I came very close. I picked all the winners in the first round. I was in the top 1 percent halfway through the second. Then it all came crashing down in the third. Why do I put my hopes and dreams in the hands of 19-year-old college students?
Undoubtedly, I will give it another shot this year. I feel my temperature rising and my hold on reality slipping. The Madness beckons.
-- Devin Houston is the president/CEO of Houston Enzymes. Send comments or questions to [email protected]. The opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 03/20/2019