I'll suffer no shame in dropping the politics from this column this week. It is just too darn hot to get people all worked up. Hot, as in the outside temperatures, not political persuasions, is what I am writing about.
Readers tell me they like this kind of break from world-shaking affairs. So enjoy this list and try to stay cool this summer:
(1) Don't lose your cool at others.
(2) Keep your cool -- all the time.
(3) Rise early and enjoy the cool, pre-dawn time.
(4) Run though that yard sprinkler. Act like you are 5 years old again.
(5) Eat a really big vanilla ice cream cone.
(6) Crunch up some big ice cubes -- now chow down on the result.
(7) Seek the shade of a really old tree.
(8) Wear seersucker (if you got it), linen if you dare.
(9) Catch a breeze and stay with it.
(10) Chill a big watermelon, an Arkansas Black Diamond, and then dive right in for the delicious icy treat.
(11) Now, eat another big ice cream cone -- make this one chocolate.
(12) Walk far out into the open spaces late at night -- look up at the stars.
(13) Turn up the ceiling fan to high.
(14) Read "Polar Express" and other weather titled tomes.
(15) Cube up a big cantaloupe. Set it in the fridge. Eat it later. Yum. Yum.
(16) Pour yourself a big glass of sweet tea. Let it set till it is indeed ice cold and the glass is sweating. Now it is ready. So are you.
(17) Dive into the middle of a big, juicy key lime pie.
(18) Drink a big old RC Cola, if you can find one. If not, choose a brand and flavor new to you.
(19) A cold fruit salad sounds really nice. Maybe a big wedge of tomato on the side will be just as good.
(20) Break out the loose-fitting Hawaiian shirts or the big T-shirts.
(21) Toss away those hot socks and shoes -- sandals or Crocs are in.
(22) Take short naps in the heat of the day.
(23) Remember the deep and frigid winter snows and icy windshields of January and February.
(24) A big, cold, helping of banana pudding sure sounds good.
(25) Get off the computer. Lay down the cell phone. Take a timeout, off the tablet.
(26) Soak those tired feet in cool water, toss in an ice cube or two.
(27) Break out the talcum powder for those itchy spots.
(28) Eat a whole juicy Johnson County peach with the juice running down your chin.
(29) Wear that big floppy brimmed hat -- everywhere.
(30) Always remember -- it is hotter down in Fort Smith and Little Rock than here.
(31) Fetch the mail, read the magazines first. Bills, well, look at them later.
(32) Sit outside in the evening, preferably after dark. It is always cooler then.
(33) Turn off the TV and turn on the jazz music. Now crank up the volume.
(34) Pick the guitar. If you don't pick, then listen to someone who does.
(35) Have a cold one. A real, icy cold one.
(36) Fan yourself with a hand-held fan -- if you can find one. If not, any old magazine or even a paper plate will do.
(37) Retell an old joke that makes folks laugh. In fact, laughter can, we all know, abate the heat.
(38) Eat cold fried chicken.
(39) Crank up some home-made ice cream -- you will surely eat it.
(40) Wear a smile, even behind your covid-19 mask. That always cools down some folks.
(41) Run out into those short summer rains. Let it soak you down.
(42) Go to the river or lake banks and soak your feet in the water while practicing social distancing.
(43) Drive way out in the country with the windows down.
(44) Eat a spoonful of local honey. Sweet and cool.
(45) Make you a big tomato sandwich, mayo, white bread and a big, red juicy center of tomato.
(46) Walk early in the morning, before the crowds hit the parks.
(47) Eschew socks, men -- when you can. Hose are out -- even knee highs for the gals.
(48) Soak down that mid-sized hand towel. Drape it around the back of your neck.
(49) Get a really short haircut. Feel the breeze you were missing.
(50) And lastly, just chill out. Winter will be here soon. I promise.
And politics will be back soon.
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Maylon Rice is a former journalist who worked for several northwest Arkansas publications. He can be reached via email at [email protected] Opinions expressed are those of the author.