Crazy uncles unite!

During the presidential candidates' town hall comedy hour, Savannah Guthrie remarked to President Trump that he was not someone's "crazy uncle." His niece, Mary Trump, paints a picture of the Trumps as quite dysfunctional, so maybe he is quite literally, "crazy Uncle Don." On behalf of crazy uncles everywhere, I rise to their defense.

Every family has a crazy uncle or three. He's the guy that likes to talk with his mouth full of food at holiday dinners, tells off-color jokes, and generally insults people while claiming the best of intentions. He's the one that asks your 6-year-old to pull his finger. Their wives are either long-suffering saints who look at the floor and stay silent or exuberant supporters who remark, "Oh, he didn't mean anything by that!"

My family certainly had its share of not-so-sane uncles and great-uncles. Still, their antics may have been prompted more by marital discord than anything else. I recall one great-uncle who was always quiet, seemed like a nice guy. Only later did I learn that his wife once tied him to a bed and whacked him with a skillet, all because he came home a little too intoxicated. I guess that incident set boundaries for the rest of his life.

Crazy uncles make holidays and family reunions more memorable. He's the one who lets you have a sip of his beer when your mother isn't looking, or lets you drive his truck in the pasture. At one reunion, I got stung on the finger by a wasp. Uncle Paul took my hand, pulled a wad of tobacco out of his mouth, and slapped it on the sting. "Leave that on there for the rest of the day, or your finger might fall off," he warned. As I was only 7 years old at the time, I took his admonition seriously. I was more frightened by the prospect of losing a finger. Crying to my mother, she assured me that Uncle Paul was only joking. I'm sure she had words with him later. But that's the only memory I have of that reunion.

Uncles can be teachers, not just overgrown jokers. Uncle Bill was a serious dairy farmer. But when we visited, he would patiently show us how the cows were milked, letting us feed them as they came into the milking stalls. I'm sure we didn't make his job go any faster, but he made us feel useful.

There is "good crazy" and "bad crazy" when it comes to uncles. Uncle Jerry was strange. He could be amusing at times, then some days be downright bizarre. One day he grabbed a shotgun and proceeded to thin out the cat population on their farm. He never said a word as to why he did so. Years later, he committed suicide with the same shotgun.

I am sure some will point out that casually using the term "crazy" to describe a family member is not appropriate. Mental illness is a severe problem in our society. We should not diminish the plight of those dealing with legitimate mental illness issues by applying the term to describe eccentric family members.

Savannah Guthrie told Donald Trump that he is the president, and not someone's crazy uncle tweeting untruths and nonsensical conspiracy theories. Perhaps if he took her comment to heart, we would think him more a president than a crazy uncle.

-- Devin Houston is the president/CEO of Houston Enzymes. Send comments or questions to [email protected]. The opinions expressed are those of the author.