Our daughter in Duncanville with six kids, and one on the way, called about a problem. It seems that the kiddos were not monitoring their time properly. They were playing when they should be getting their schoolwork or house chores done and my daughter's situation isn't helping any: She is expecting her seventh baby but is bedridden with some complications. No, it isn't covid, flu, cold or anything like that.
"Dad, Timothy is busy with his work, and I can't seem to get the kids to cooperate. What do you recommend?"
She waited while I thought about it for a minute.
"Let's hang up. You call the older four in for a pow-wow but let the 4-year-old and the 2-year-old keep playing. When the older four are assembled, call me."
The phone call was on speaker-phone and Carol was listening. "What are you going to tell them?"
"I don't know, but I'm praying about it."
About six minutes later, Rebecca called back. "They're here, Dad, and you're on speaker-phone."
I explained Rebecca's condition and how she could not get well if she's continuously pummeled with worries, and especially if she had to repeatedly get up to run the family. I then briefly explained the authority structure in a U.S. Naval ship, emphasizing the positions of the captain and the executive officer and their authoritative relationship. Next, I related the similarity of a family to the men and women stationed in a ship.
Where do I go from here? Obviously with Rebecca laid up in bed and Timothy at work, they're not available for hour-by-hour command. Ahhh, the idea came.
I asked all but Rebecca and 14-year-old Hannah, whom I call Kitten, to be excused from the room. I told Kitten that Mama and Daddy were the 1- and 2-star admirals, but we needed a captain and an executive officer – referred to as the X O.
"Kitten, you are the oldest available person in the ship to be the captain. I am commissioning you as Captain Kitten." I explained her authorities, responsibilities, how to handle problems, and her recourse to Admiral Mama if she hit a roadblock.
Then I asked almost-13-year-old Kayla, whom I call Lamb, to be brought back in.
"Lamb, you are the 'get-things-done' person in this ship. That would be the X O. I'm now commissioning you to be Executive Officer Lamb: X O Lamb." I explained her authorities and responsibilities but told her she could not be bossy. She had to learn to carry out the orders of the day set out by Captain Kitten, but she needed to learn to be gentle with her siblings.
Also, with Kitten taking on somewhat of an administrative role in the family, a minimal amount of her house-hold chores would need to be off-loaded to others, and Lamb would see about distributing the load.
Then I dropped the hammer.
"Captain Kitten is over operations under Admiral Mama's oversight. Captain Kitten is the one who will run the ship. When anyone has a problem, go to the captain. And only one person will be allowed to go to Admiral Mama with seemingly insurmountable problems: That is Captain Kitten. But Mama will be available to see and love all her kids as she is able.
"Who are YOU gonna be?" X O Lamb asked me.
"I suppose I'll have to be the 4-star admiral." And we all laughed.
"What do we do if we have a problem, but Mama can't help us?" asked Captain Kitten.
Rebecca's quick answer, "Call the 4-star!" Laughter broke out again.
After more light talking, I explained that learning to live in these new roles will help prepare the girls for their future roles as mothers and wives. I then asked Rebecca to pray over the girls after we hung up.
"You commissioned them, and God will confirm it" Rebecca said.
The next day, Rebecca, Kitten, and Lamb sent me messages about how smoothly the family is running already. Realizing that this new status in family life gave the girls a renewed sense of importance, I will send them notes of encouragement several times a week.
Friends, all of us face challenges and need encouragement just as children do, and we find that a little order and discipline can solve a myriad of problems. Don't be afraid or too proud to ask for help, and be gentle when others ask for your assistance. True friendship and submission to authority makes life a lot easier.
-- S. Eugene Linzey is an author, mentor, and speaker. Send comments and questions to [email protected]. Visit his web site at www.genelinzey.com. The opinions expressed are those of the author.