When I was younger -- much younger -- I developed a tendency to incessantly assess the moral failure of others. I felt that this habit was more analytical than judgmental and would help me be more "spiritual" in dealing with other people. It never occurred to me that what I actually was doing was comparing myself with others, so I could feel better about myself and my own shortcomings.
As I grew older, I noticed that the moral failure of others began to pale in comparison to mine. Now it wasn't because I had necessarily become a moral degenerate. It was because I began to realize that I myself had a penchant for sinning. And, in another irony, the more I tried not to sin, the more I found myself failing.
It was like a game of "whack-a-mole." I would suppress one particularly annoying weakness, and two more would sprout up in its place. It was aggravating, and exhausting. And it never seemed to end. (It probably wouldn't surprise you that most of my problems were rooted in pride, but that's a whole other story.)
And then one day I read the words of the Apostle Paul in his letter to the church at Rome:
"I don't understand myself at all, for I really want to do what is right, but I can't. I do what I don't want to -- what I hate. I know perfectly well that what I am doing is wrong...But I can't help myself...I know I am rotten through and through so far as my old sinful nature is concerned. No matter which way I turn I can't make myself do right. I want to but I can't. When I want to do good, I don't; and when I try not to do wrong, I do it anyway." – Romans 7:15-20 (TLB)
These are the words of one of the greatest Christians of the 1st Century, and even he struggled with sin. And if he struggled with sin, then surely he would have the answer to the problem. And sure enough, he did.
"Who will free me from my slavery to this deadly [sin] nature? Thank God! It has been done by Jesus Christ our Lord. He has set me free." – Romans 7:25 (TLB)
Paul knew, as we should, that while we constantly struggle with sin, we don't have to be enslaved to it. And we should know, as well, that when we do fail, our failures are erased by our faith in our Redeemer, who took the penalty for those failures at a place called Calvary.
I have sinned. I sin. I will sin. But I am not a slave to sin. And the sins I do commit are covered by the blood of Christ. I thank God for His eternal grace and mercy.
-- Doug Chastain is a retired teacher and is currently a large-vehicle transportation specialist for the Siloam Springs School District. (Okay, he drives a bus.) He is also a grass maintenance technician at Camp Siloam. (Yeah, he mows the lawn.) You can contact him at [email protected]. The opinions expressed are those of the author.